I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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