Screwed.edu
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize
