You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Damn victory sex feels great
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
