so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
