Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
