I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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