He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I am available for nakedness
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
