We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
