What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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