I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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