my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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