i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize