This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
