dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize