hotel room ftw
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
