OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize