you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
