Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
