halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
