How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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