Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
