Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize