Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
