Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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