For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
