How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
