Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
