So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
