Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
