whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
