sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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