u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it's like iHOP with fire
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize