Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
