my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
