Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
