Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
