so let's talk penis.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
