I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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