she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize