I think my vagina is haunted
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize