Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize