You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My dick has a subreddit
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
