We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
thus making me awesome and them whores
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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