Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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