i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
