hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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