Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
