you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
