Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
cat food counts as protein by the way
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
