dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
