There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
