I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
