what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
