And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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