one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's blow job season.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
