can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
