Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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