omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
