i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
this will be a night to untag.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize