we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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