Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
