So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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