Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
