Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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