I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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