i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
