this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
